Happy Mothers' Day

keywords: mom, Iris, modern motherhood

Be careful what you say to your kids

When we moved Iris from a daycare center to a preschool, she noticed that some of the other kids were picked up much earlier than she was. She discovered the creature called a ‘stay at home mom’ (SAHM). She asked me why I went to work instead of being a SAHM. Rushed as I usually am, I quipped it was because her daddy didn’t earn enough for me to stay at home.

Another day, soon after that conversation, she told me that she wanted me to go back to the daddy store and get a rich one.

Changing tactics, I told her that I also worked because I enjoy my work. I went to her classroom and told the kids about weather satellites, showed pretty satellite pictures and then topped it off with a NASA video of the Terra launch and deployment. [Satellite deployments are mesmerizing as the parts unfurl from the rocket casing-- like a flower emerging from a bud.] Thereafter, Iris gained cachet for having a ‘space’ mom and I thought the situation had been defused.

A few months later, she got mad about something and exploded. She went on about SAHMs again. I asked her why life with a SAHM would be so much better. She said that SAHMs pick up their kids right after class and take them home to bake cookies. She added, “All you do is go to work and launch satellites.”

What did I do? I bought a whole bunch of cookie cutters which were used exactly once.

I related this story to a coworker whose kids have all grown up and been successfully launched. He said that Iris is remarkably prescient in knowing that a satellite launch requires the work of thousands of people while cookie baking can only be done by the mommy and child.

We didn’t even eat most of the cookies we baked. I guess they were wrong for our household. But I did buy some rice ball presses. We had so much fun with those, we are inviting some other kids whose mommies (and daddies) have to work late tomorrow to come over to make rice balls with Iris and myself. Time permitting, we might even make some melt and pour soaps for Mothers’ Day.

Keywords: Iris, modern motherhood

Bad Neighbors

Why do some people treat other people's gardens as their personal private "cutting garden"?

I came home one day to discover a woman in my front yard, inside the fence, with a bag and clippers cutting hydrangeas from my bushes. When caught red-handed, she said that I wasn't home to ask and she didn't think I would mind. I told her that I did mind and to stay out of my yard.

I fight a losing battle with a teen-aged girl in the apartments across the street. She picks flowers as she walks, then tosses them on the ground when she gets tired of carrying them. She knows it is wrong because, when I am out gardening, she picks my next door neighbors' flowers. When my neighbor is out gardening, she picks only my flowers. Once, I told her to stop when she was picking my next door neighbors' flowers and she quipped back that I should mind my own business.

My neighbor said that she told the girl to stop picking my flowers in the presence of her grandmother. The grandmother than yelled at my neighbor that she shouldn't talk to children like that. The grandmother added that, "Flowers are for the people."

I should mention that gardens are very small in coastal LA because of the astronomical cost of land. Coastal fog, strong ocean breezes. lack of sunlight due to closely packed buildings and sandy soil also present gardening challenges. Each flower is tended and eagerly awaited at Chez BadMom. Look at the Lily of the Nile above. Notice that you see buds but no flowers. Here is a close-up.


The roses are apparently safer from opportunists because of their thorns. Some Gerbera daisies last year did not fare so well. They were denuded less than 2 hours after they were planted.

Anyway, I put up this sign and hope it will help. I will not tolerate creeping socialism when it comes to MY flowers.