Monday, December 17, 2007

Shedding Skin

This post, from six and a half stitches, just about made me cry.
Today I resigned.

I've alluded before to the fact that I haven't been comfortable back at work. I always felt I returned because I had to, not because I wanted to. Once back at work, I've felt incredibly torn between how I am defined - a mother, an architect, a designer. Up till now it's always been a relatively free definition, without much compromise or contradiction. But 2 children have changed the balance. I myself, the person I am, has changed the balance. I've been frustrated at my inability to lock down each role as I need to. Work crossed over into home life, and home life crossed over into work life, and I really felt I was being pulled in too many directions. Compromise is viscous.

Go read the whole thing, and the comments, especially the one by Wenchequilts:
Hi, as a woman architect in Norway, with full time architect job, 4 kids (3-14y), I have to say that I respect your decision. But how are things to change? My daughters have to learn that a woman must work and earn money to be independent of her husband...
Is it really her choice? Or was she pushed over a cliff?


  1. I think so few of us make real choices. For instance, lack of affordable health insurance makes a person like me sign up for the stable job. Single parents aren't given concessions at work. Even men are expected to forgo life at home and lurk around the office. There are so many ways in which work really forces our hands.

  2. Anonymous09:05

    One of the responses to Wenchquilts - the one about how a colleague from overseas who gets so many days off the poster wants to punch them - was really disturbing.

    You would think that if all these women who posted support for six and a half stitches' decision to stay home would want *everyone* to have paid parental leave a la all of Europe? I don't get people who are mad at the people who have benefits instead of the ones here in the states that don't give us those benefits.

  3. Personally I can vouch for the first friend who made a definit choice. Sometimes in life, there comes a moment that you don't want the things that you wanted before.
    I also made the decision to quit my own business.
    The reaction of Wenchquilts is also understandable. She hasn't reached 'our' point of view, ...yet?
    Some people are in their eyes better moms if they work. Others at closer look on life not.
    But that doesn't make the decision any easier....


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